i think my mom watched the whole time
high people should be assigned attendants
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Still dying that you shit outside
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
