I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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