party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
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there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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