I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
