you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
