You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
