Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
