I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
