i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
