remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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