why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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