woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
