A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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