everyone is single if you try hard enough
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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