i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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