and you said cock pushups were impossible
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
