If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
