I think I died a long time ago.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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