and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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