hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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