dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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