if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
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after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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