If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
another moral hangover. fuck.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
