so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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