Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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