I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
