Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
