I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
