And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
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you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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