Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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