Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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