you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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