i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I need moral support for this bender
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
