Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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