hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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