I want to stick my p in your. b.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
