i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They took my balls.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
