I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
