I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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