bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
