I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
