I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
