Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
