my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
