Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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