I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
