You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
