glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
