he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
