Tell her she can't have a vagina
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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