Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
