Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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