Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I love you.
Bad choice
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