i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
