he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
