She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
soo... how was my night?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
