Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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