Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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