Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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