You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
