i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
