he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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