dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
