I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
