Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
