I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Couch. On fire.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
