peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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