Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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