hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
