we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
