He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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