hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize