I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
