She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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