Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
