I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
