I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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